Update on life and such

I obviously never blog but for those of you wondering what the heck is going on with me I will post a bit of an update. Excuse the fact that most of the pictures are crappy phone pictures, and excuse how ridiculously long this post is. Maybe I will post more? No promises!

In October my dad had a dental convention in Washington DC and my mom and I wanted to tag along. So we charged the iPad up and braved the plane ride out there. Jj did so good. He is such a good kid. While Daddy and his associate Steve learned all about biological treatments for teeth, we went to all the museums and to the zoo. Jj was so excited to see the pandas and still talks about them.

We were there on my birthday so my mom got a hold of a cake and we had a party in the hotel room. The rest of the night was spent watching movies on tv and laughing at the giant baby we spend all our time with.

The last day there the guys decided they were sick of teeth and came with us to the FDR monument.

We also dropped by Arlington so I could get some pictures for Chad and his sister of a friend of theirs who was killed in Afghanistan in August. Seeing the rows and rows of fresh graves is heartbreaking. The sacrifice that Ricky Berry and his fellow soldiers make is huge and it is important to never forget about that.

Overall, I had a blast in DC and loved the time I had with my parents. I haven't had that in a while!

     

Thanksgiving is always a hit in the Margolis house. My mom is trying to teach me how to be a good housewife. I mostly just like the apron.

Jj tasted heaven for the first time.

We celebrated Hannakah. Jj was so excited about it every night. He would ask all day if he could light the candles and after we said the prayer for the lighting of the candles (which is sung) he would clap and say "Hannakah!" The purity of the Jewish religion is truly beautiful and seeing it shine through a child is so heartwarming.

Someone decided not to stop at a red light and broke my car :(

Jj's favorite food is sushi. Isn't that adorable? It is also Chad's, so we are there a lot.

My dad and his mini me. Horrible picture but I couldn't leave it out!

I got a job at Well's Fargo, so after a year of being Jj's nanny, we had to find a school for him to be in for extended hours while I got a real job. The week before he started at his new school and two weeks before I stared my job, I made sure our week was jam packed with fun.

 

We went to the zoo (twice).

Jj drove his new car. He just needs to ask his uncle, Sam, about Arizona's zero tolerance laws when it come to drinking and driving! Silly boys.

Now I am working all day and going to school all night. I miss my baby boy like crazy, but when I do see him he gives me the biggest smile and will cuddle up to me until someone forces him out of my arms. The two of us have such a strong bond. I just pray he doesn't grow out of it.

BLING

Oh hey guys. Thought I would finally come on here and blog the big news! Plus, Jannae keeps bugging me about blogging it so I have to. Or I die. Because that's how scary my best friend can get :)

SO. For Christmas I was gifted with Disneyland tickets from the Chad. I knew that was my present because he is bad at surprises and gives too many hints. It's fine. So we planned out a whole trip and went at the beginning of February. We were so excited that we were going on a trip just the two of us, plus life was reaching getting to be pretty darn stressful. It was so nice to get out of town for a while. 

We woke up and left at 4:30 in the morning. We were not going to miss a second of Disneyland time. Because we are Disneyland obsessed. It's fine. When we go there the weather was amazing and there was almost no one there. It was so nice to be able to walk onto any ride with no wait. Even Indiana Jones and Star Tours had no wait. That was a first for me. It was so much fun and just what we needed. I don't think I have ever been so relaxed in my life. 

Now, while we were walking around and such we were holding hands and such. Because we are a couple and that's what couples do. Who knew? So anyway, Chad was doing this thing where he was paying a lot of attention to a certain finger on a certain hand. If I didn't already know a certain thing was a about to happen I would have had a pretty good idea at this point. Yes, I knew. Chad's bad at surprises. I already said that. 

We would find some of the cutest places that were secluded and romantic and I kept expecting it to happen..... but nothing. I was getting quite impatient. At around 3:00 we were exhausted. Remember waking up at 4:30? Yeah, I love sleep more than Disneyland. I guess I forgot that when I decided we would leave at 4:30. So we went back to the hotel for a nap. On the shuttle ride back I looked at Chad and just said, "Really, could you put an "H" on this. I'm getting impatient." 

So we are walking back to our hotel room and I am raving on how relaxed I am and how much fun I was having and back to how relaxed I was. At that point, Chad said "I am not relaxed at all." 

I knew the answer but I'm a brat and asked, "Well why not...?"

Keep in mind about right now we are in our hotel room. He answers, "I've been trying to figure out where to do this all day and I'm stressing out like crazy and -"

And I'm screaming. Like a high pitched squeal. And I throw my arms around him and keep squealing. And he keeps talking. So what I'm trying to say is I couldn't hear a word he was saying. He gets down on one knee and pulls out the most perfect ring I've ever seen. Except I didn't even see it. Because before I could think about anything or anything registered in my head, I yanked the ring out of the box and threw it on my finger. Yeah. I'm impatient. 

Chad calms me down and I get a look at my ring and I start begging him to tell me what he said. And he refuses to tell me. Apparently he likes the story a lot more without me knowing. Frankly, I wish he would tell me. But whatever. He is a brat :)

Now, a lot of people have called him lame because he didn't do it inside Disneyland, namely in front of the castle. But let me explain. Chad and I talked about this a lot before it happened. He knew full well that I didn't want a big public display. I would much rather have something just between us. So I couldn't have asked for a more perfect place to do it. Say what you will, but I love Chad. I wanted the proposal to be about us, not about the display and how he did it and that everyone saw it and it was so cute. I don't like those proposals. So again, it was perfect. And I loved it. 

Summary: I'm engaged. To the most amazing man I could ask for. I am so lucky to have found someone that is so good to me. I am incredibly blessed to have him in my life. 

The big question everyone and their dog asks me. When's the date??? 

I like to think August or November 2013. But it could be later. It won't be sooner. I get A LOT A LOT A LOT of judging "why so long" questions about that. Here are a few of thousands of reasons: 

-I'm young

-I am a perfectionist and it will take a while to plan

-School is a priority for me

-We move slowly and cherish every step in our relationship! This is the main thing. Those of you who get married after a three month engagement: Good for you. That's fine. I'm not one of those people. Chad and I have been dating for three years. Part of this is that we started dating in high school, but mostly, it took us a while to get engaged because we were still DATING. We built our friendship for a while. We made sure that was there before we were even dating. Then while dating we made darn sure that we wanted to be together forever. Now that we are engaged we want to BE engaged. We want to live that part in our relationship. 

So it will be a while. But when it happens, it will be amazing. Promise :) 

I'm done rambling! Now back to planning the wedding that won't happen until all my friends have met someone and married them!

Pictures

Now after the depressing post, I had to post some happies:

Love my girlfriends. 

Besties! Jannae when are you moving home?

I love how close my brothers and I have become. And don't you just love that baby boy??

They are best friends. JJ just loves to be with Jeff. We are all a little jealous. 

Just hanging out with Daddy...

The things you do to make a baby smile in pictures, and still they rarely end up smiling.

I have had so very much fun being this kids nanny. He is so much fun!

She is such a lover. I can't believe how much personality this little two year old has!

In less than one month this guys is taking my to Disneyland! Super excited! Then shortly after we will be getting another puppy!! :) We already know what kind of dog she is and we are pretty sure about the name but you all will just have to wait and see!

Being Enough

Disclaimer: This post may be a little on the depressing side. It is also quite the rant. Writing helps me get through things so you don't have to read this if you don't want to. I won't be offended.

Something I've always struggled with is trying to be a people pleaser. I just want everyone to be happy and like me. I do everything in my power to achieve that but I ALWAYS fail. I have never been able to do it. At least it seems that way in my mind.

I always think these horrible thoughts to myself that put me in such a terrible place, but I can't help it. I insist that I'm just not enough for anyone.

I think this stems from the fact that my parents have been divorced my entire life and I hardly ever saw my dad. I still never really do.

Every child just has this thing inside them that forces them to believe that something is their own fault. I never blamed myself for my parents divorce. How could I? But I always have blamed myself for the lack of relationship between my dad and I. I get to such a destructive state that I am insisting that I am just not good enough for him.

Then it spirals into this, "Well, you aren't really good enough for anyone..."
and that follows with all the reasons that I will just keep to myself right now... Sometimes I just need someone to tell me that just me, who I am, is enough. I don't need to be any better for anyone. What I do is plenty.

Last night I had such an eye opener. I have been struggling with this "being enough" concept so much over the last couple weeks and last night I had one of those light bulb moments. I realized that in order to be enough for anyone, I have to be enough for myself. I have to think more positively, because these people that I insist are thinking that I'm a horrible person, more than likely aren't thinking that at all. I have all these insecurities that are really just stupid. There isn't a reason to feel that I'm not good enough for anyone. I need to work on being good enough for myself. I'm still not sure if I need to work on my self esteem, or if there are really things that I need to put more effort into doing. It's probably a little of both.

So I made a decision. I decided what my key words will be this year:


Positive Thinking.


This year I need to think more positively about myself. This will make any goals of bettering myself come more easily and hopefully I won't resent all the people I blame for my own insecurities anymore. Because by feeling like I'm not enough for a particular person, I am putting my own problem on them. It isn't anyone's fault but my own.

End of Sad Rant.

Happy Day

Today, I am happy. Why? No idea. But I am happy. Sometimes when your life is not going exactly how you want it, it gets you down. It is such a relief to look and see that life can never be perfect but you have to make the best of it. Today is one of those days that I'm making the best of it. And it has been nice :)


Now for some things that have been keeping me happy these days:


-Taking pride in my natural curls!

-Daily Sonic runs to keep from dying in this crazy heat that I love.

-Goofing around with the boyfriend.

-My Snow Patrol station on Pandora.

-Nightly dog walks (sometimes with my adorable nephew).

-Piggy back rides for Chad's lovable little sister, Saydee.

-Blog stalking everyone and their dog!

-Admiring some amazing people in my life.

-Getting lot's of baby love from Lando!

-Los Flavoritos for lunch.

-Wearing my turtle necklace from Jannae (I told you I would wear it everyday!!)

Just to name a few! I hope everyone else is having a happy day too! And enjoying college and such!